Silver Lining
by AnnaLilyRose
Summary: Katsuki has always loathed Midoriya with every fibre of his being. He has always felt an undeniable hatred towards him, so why exactly does he suddenly want to know how it feels to hold Midoriya's hand?
1. Chapter 1

**Kacchan x Deku**

 **Lots of swearing because _Kacchan_. **

**Sorry if they're OOC.**

 **This is in Katsuki's point of view.**

* * *

I really couldn't fucking believe Deku was able to deceive me like that; making me believe that he was Quirkless through all those years. He even had the guts to try to lie to me about inheriting his quirk as if I would actually buy what he said. I wasn't an idiot. But Deku made me feel like one.

I hate it.

I fucking hate it.

I just hate the way he talks to me as if we're friends, as if we were ever friends, and I hate the way he worries all the fucking time. It's not like I can't defend myself. Why does he keep looking down on me? I'm not some helpless little boy who needs to be saved all the fucking time. Why does he think he has to save me?

"Bakugou! Oi, Bakugou!"

"What do you fucking want?"

Kirishima only grins, seemingly used to my attitude before patting my shoulder.

I gruffly shake off his hand at once before shooting him a glare. "What's that grin for?" I ask in irritation. I hate it when other people grin, and I don't know what the reason for it is. That leads to me getting curious and then asking afterwards which shows that somehow, I actually do have a care—which is incredibly frustrating because it's something that I will never ever admit.

"Is it Midoriya?"

I growl in annoyance, giving him a dirty look because hearing that name is enough to piss me off.

"It's Midoriya then."

"Shut the fuck up."

Kirishima sniggers before giving me a curious look. "You hate Midoriya so much that you tend to think of him a lot."

"What's your point?"

"Nothing, really. It's just amusing. Don't you think you should just let go of your grudge?" Kirishima suggests, and I really want to punch him in the face because nobody tells me what to do. Good thing I have a little self-control. Not when it comes to Deku though.

"This has nothing to do with you."

Kirishima raises both of his hands in surrender. "Fine, fine. I was just trying to help you."

"How's that even going to help me?"

"If you think about him at all times, don't you think there's a possibility that your hatred will turn into something else?" Kirishima taps his chin with his fingers, staring at the ceiling.

I feel my eyebrows scrunching up in confusion. What could it possibly turn into?


	2. Chapter 2

The moment I lay eyes on Deku with his usual gang, I'm filled with inexplicable irritation.

Because I hate every single he does.

Deku beams at that girl who floats fucks and that other guy as they converse with each other.

I fucking hate it when he smiles because it looks so real, and for me, it's impossible for a smile to be entirely real. There has to be some sort of ulterior motive. But why can't I see it? Why is Deku so fucking pure? Why are his intentions always so innocent? I hate him for it.

"If looks could kill, Izuku would have been dead by now."

I turn to the person who is obviously talking to me to send him a deadly glare. "Why do you call him by his first name?" I ask before immediately regretting it because I don't really know why I even noticed that. It's not like I care about something as petty as that.

Todoroki raises his eyebrows, a smirk playing on his lips. "What's it to you?"

"It's fucking nothing to me," I reply, the glare on my face intensifying. "You piss me off."

"Everyone pisses you off," Todoroki retorts.

I merely turn my back on him, not even bothering to reply. He's annoying, and he's someone that I want to beat to a pulp together with Deku. I want to smash their heads together, and they probably won't even complain because they're close anyway.

Deku's getting along with a lot of people now, huh?

Not like I give a damn or anything.

"K-Kacchan."

I don't even need to look at the person to know who it is since there's only one person who calls me that. "What do you fucking want from me?!" I look at him in frustration – or is it embarrassment? Because I fucking feel like he somehow caught me while I was thinking about him.

Deku tightly shuts his eyes when I shout at him.

Is he scared? Damn right he should be scared of me.

But instead of answering my question, Deku skitters back towards his seat without even glancing back. He places his hands over his face, covering it, and I am left horribly baffled (and quite possibly, concerned) because no matter how many times I yell at him, he has never cried. Except maybe when we were kids.

"What the actual fuck?" I furrow my brow, glaring at Deku.

"Did you make Midoriya cry?" Iida strides towards me with anger in his eyes.

"W-Wait! I'm not even crying!" Deku suddenly cuts in, looking shocked and a little ashamed. He's biting his lips, his ears beet red, and he can't seem to make eye contact.

What the actual fuck is wrong with this guy?


	3. Chapter 3

Classes have already started, but I still can't get Deku's face off my head. What was he going to tell me anyway? Why'd he even start talking if he wasn't going to fucking finish it?

That's one of the many things that frustrate me the most. It's when people say something and then they decide to not say it. It makes me so damn curious, and it's so frustrating. Should I just ask him? No fucking way. I am not speaking to that pipsqueak just for the sake of satisfying my curiosity.

Because thinking about that stupid shit is only making me even more annoyed, I decide to listen to our teacher instead. But no matter how fucking hard I try, Deku always finds his way to invade my mind, and damn it, he made me so curious.

"Oi, Bakugou," that pink girl whispers. "Stop that tapping on your desk. It's distracting."

I didn't even realize what I was doing. Regardless of that, I don't intend to let other people dictate to me, so I glare at her, ignoring what she said. "Deal with it."

She scrunches up her nose in annoyance but shrugs and sighs heavily afterwards. "Not like I expected you to stop."

I huff before turning my attention to something else. Somehow, my gaze lands on Deku, who at the same fucking glances at me. I give him a look that clearly says, 'What are you looking at?' His eyes bug out, growing even larger than they already are before quickly looking away. I shoot him a glare even though he can't see it.

It's unbelievable how he can irritate me without even doing anything that serious. Even his slightest movements somewhat get on my nerves.

* * *

"Bakugou, are you not coming?"

I snap my head up, and Kirishima is looking at me curiously while all the students are filing out of the classroom. I straighten up, saying, "I'm coming."

I didn't even realize that it's lunch time already. My head was in the clouds, and it rarely even happens. Damn it. What the fuck am I doing? I should be paying more attention to my surroundings. I shouldn't be getting distracted by things that I don't even give a damn about.

My thoughts are cut off when Kirishima waves his hand in front of my face. "Oi, you've totally been out of it, Bakugou. What's wrong?"

I look at him in annoyance before grabbing his wrist and attempting to twist it. The asshole somehow manages to retract his hand and even has the decency to laugh despite my expression getting darker and darker. He laughs even harder before sticking his tongue out at me. "You underestimate me too much."

"Shut the fuck up. I wasn't even serious."

"Anyway, is there something wrong?"

I shake my head, and I hope he gets the message that I don't want to talk about anything. It's not something that I do. I don't talk about my problems with other people. I can solve them on my own, without feeling the need to get help from them. That's why when Kirishima nods and shrugs, I feel a slight sense of relief.

"Look," he suddenly says, pointing at someone. "I think Midoriya is walking towards us."

"I don't give a fuck about Deku," I say. But despite that, I spin around to see if he is indeed coming.

My eyes widen fractionally when he stops right in front of me. I raise my eyebrows at him, trying hard to keep the curiosity and interest from showing on my face.

"Kacchan, uh – a while ago, I was going to tell you something, but it's – er, a little embarrassing to say in front of other people, so I thought I'd just tell you some other time," he stutters, staring at the ground, his fingers playing with the hem of his uniform. He blinks and tries to look at me, but he can't even maintain eye contact for more than a second. He hastens off, covering his face once again, and I wonder how he can avoid bumping into objects with his face covered like that.

Kirishima sniggers from beside me. "What's that? A confession?" he jokes before stifling another laugh.

On the other hand, I am left speechless, thinking about what Deku said. I'm aware that what Kirishima said was actually a joke, nothing serious, but it's actually plausible considering Deku's words and expression.

Huh. It doesn't even matter. Whatever Deku has to say, be it a confession or not, won't matter to me.


	4. Chapter 4

"Katsuki! It's time for dinner!"

I ignore my mother's repeated calls to focus on my notes, trying to instill everything in my mind. Exam season is still kinda far, but I want to fucking be number one and beat everyone – especially that nerd, Deku. Meanwhile, the shouting of my mother from downstairs suddenly stops, replaced by the sound of footsteps getting louder and louder, and I know that she's about to bust in my bedroom any moment now.

"Katsuki, you little punk, get down there this instant!"

I shoot her a glare for interrupting my studies before grudgingly following her to the dining room. This old hag will only hit me if I did otherwise, and I really don't want to waste any time fighting with her because I still have to study. I'm not saying that my knowledge isn't enough to pass whatever test the teachers throw at us. I just want to beat every fucknugget in my class.

Once we're in the dining room, I sit down immediately, putting food on my plate at once before wolfing down my meal. My mother and father both stare at me earning themselves a glare from me, and they shake their heads simultaneously before starting to eat.

"Katsuki, do you have friends at school? Well, besides Midoriya," my father starts.

I was about to say that Deku's not even my fucking friend when my mother interferes. "You really should get a girlfriend," she says before adding, "or a boyfriend."

"Shut up! I don't need anyone." An image of green hair and green eyes briefly flashes in my mind, and I want to turn the the fucking table because of it. Why the hell would that nerd appear in my mind at a time like this?

"Come on, Katsuki, maybe if you do get one, you'll be less..." My father trails off, looking up at the ceiling while probably thinking of the best word to describe me. He raises his index finger, an idea springing from his mind, and continues, "You'll be less like Hulk."

My mother gives him a bored look before turning to me. "I think he's worse than that. Anyway, having someone special will most likely help tame you."

"Am I a fucking wild beast?"

"It certainly seems so."

"You old hag – I'm not getting a boyfriend," I growl, and when I see my mother smirking and my father giving me a knowing look, I add, "Or a fucking girlfriend. Whatever! Just shut up!"

My mother laughs loudly, almost dropping her spoon and fork as she struggles to contain herself. "Your face looks so funny when you're embarrassed," she says in between laughter.

"I'm not embarrassed!"

"Stop shouting, you two," my father scolds us, but he sounds so gentle that we're not even the least bit intimidated. The two of us simply continue shouting at each other, and he lets out a long-suffering sigh before murmuring, "Why do I even bother?"

"Tsk, I'm going back up," I growl before grouchily standing up and climbing the staircase.

"Yeah, yeah, don't forget to brush your teeth!" my mother yells.

A frown forms on my face while I quicken my pace before opening the door to the bathroom. It's not like I need reminding about things like that.

* * *

Getting up early in the morning is a pain in the ass. It's hard to leave the heat and comfort of my bed to go and take a bath in the fucking bathroom. But I'm determined to not lose against something like this, so I push the covers off my body and spring out of bed to get ready for school.

Within a few minutes, I'm all set. I jog down the stairs to go to the dining room where breakfast is already on the table.

"Good morning!" My father greets.

"Morning," I reply before seating myself beside my mother.

Compared to yesterday, everyone's quiet as we all eat breakfast together. It's so much better this way. I don't have to listen to my parents telling me to go date someone when I don't even need anyone. I'm perfectly fine by myself.

"Have a nice day, Katsuki!" My father waves at me with a smile when I finish eating while I just nod in return.


	5. Chapter 5

**This is probably kinda disappointing. Sorry about that!**

* * *

When I arrive at our classroom, Deku's the only one there looking kinda anxious even though he's all by himself. Or maybe that's the reason why he's anxious? I don't fucking care. I enter the classroom and walk towards my seat, and Deku just stares at his desk, paying no mind to his surroundings. It seems like he hasn't noticed me yet.

I noisily pull my chair on purpose – which I don't fucking know the reason why. Deku's head snaps upwards so suddenly it must have been painful. (Hah, serves him right then.) He turns around to look for the source of the noise, and his eyes land on me. "Kacchan!"

"What?" I frown at him, raising my eyebrows.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Aren't you already doing that, nerd?"

"R-Right," Deku stammers before trudging towards me. "Uh... Well..."

"Deku, just fucking say it," I say impatiently, shooting him a glare.

Breathing heavily, he closes his eyes for a few seconds and opens them, resolve showing in his eyes. "Kacchan, I think I — "

The door opens revealing Iida Tenya whose gaze immediately lands on Deku. "Good morning, Midoriya! There's been a lot of news regarding — " His eyes fall on me before they revert to Deku, and he asks, "Did I interrupt something?"

Deku sends him an awkward smile before returning his gaze to me. "Can you come with me in the hallway, Kacchan?" he asks before adding, "Please?"

"Make it quick," I say curtly, standing up to get out of the classroom while Deku follows me outside. I see Iida apologizing profusely to him while Deku waves his hands, saying it's completely fine.

When the two of us are alone, I stare at Deku, urging him to continue because I don't want him to waste my time. He breathes in, closing his eyes briefly just like what he did previously. "I think we should set aside our differences and try to get along, Kacchan," he starts. "I mean it's really — "

"What'd you say?" I give him a look that clearly says, 'what the fuck'. "Get along? Are you fucking crazy, nerd?"

"No," he answers.

"That's stupid."

When I look at Deku and see a determined face instead of a dejected one, somehow, I am not surprised. Because that is so Deku. It's so like him to keep going and never give up in spite of the obstacles blocking his way. But it's not like I pay attention to his characteristics or his personality. Those are just things... that are very noticeable about Deku. I don't observe him or anything.

"But don't you think it's troublesome? Especially for our teachers." Fidgeting, Deku glances at me, his eyes still shining with determination. "I think we should at least be civil with each other. We were friends when — "

"We were never friends, Deku," I cut him off.

"But Kacchan — "

I cut him off for the second time, "Fuck off, nerd. I'm not planning on being friends with you." Just as I'm about to leave for the classroom, I'm stopped with a hand firmly gripping my wrist.

I look back at Deku ready to snarl at him when he says, "I'm not giving up, Kacchan," he states boldly. "And I — " He abruptly halts, biting his lower lip as if deciding not to say it instead before loosening his hold on me.

At that moment, I quickly go back to the classroom but not before I shoot Deku a death glare.

That's stupid. What he said was completely, utterly stupid.


	6. Chapter 6

**By the way, this story starts at the beginning of the whole Yuuei thing (after the battle trial when K** **atsuki lost). I just changed some things like Todoroki and Midoriya's relationship because I really love how their friendship developed in the later chapters (this story won't reach that part, that's why I simply injected it here lol) and I probably won't include the action scenes that happened in the manga because I'm no good at describing fighting scenes.**

* * *

Before I even know it, it's already afternoon, and everyone is once again leaving the room for Lunch Rush. I'm about to get out as well when fucking Deku blocks my way. He's looking at me directly while smiling, and I just want to punch that grin off his face.

"Kacchan, let's eat together," he suggests, sounding hopeful.

I look at him incredulously. "What." It's not even a question. Just an indication of my utter disbelief.

"Let's eat lunch together? I told Iida and Uraraka that I plan to — uh, eat with you — "

"I haven't fucking agreed to that, nerd."

"Oh."

The way he sounded so disappointed with his shoulders dropping and his eyelids drooping almost makes me want to retract what I just said — only for a fucking moment though. Obviously, I don't want to do anything together with Deku since it's surely not going to fucking end well. Even if it's just eating lunch together, I'm certain it's going to end in the worst way possible.

"Oi, Bakugou! What are you doing?" Kirishima asks, running back towards the classroom. "Midoriya? Oh, sorry for interfering."

Deku shakes his head, saying, "It's fine."

"What were you guys talking about?" Kirishima inquires, turning to me with raised eyebrows as if he can't believe I'm actually willing to talk to Deku.

I roll my eyes. _So fucking nosy._

"I — er — wanted to eat lunch with Kacchan," Deku answers scratching the back of his head.

Kirishima's lips form a grin, and I also fucking want to punch him to wipe that off his face. His grin widens when he sees me seething. He returns his gaze to Deku and puts an arm around him. "Let's go then! Come on, Bakugou," he tells me, his eyes glinting happily.

I give him a glare before deciding to simply ignore them both and go to Lunch Rush. The two are having an animated conversation right behind me while I fight the urge to shut them up to focus on getting my food instead.

When the three of us are seated, I do my best to disregard Kirishima and Deku who are still conversing enthusiastically. I'm successful with ignoring everything besides my own food, but it's ruined when someone else sits beside Deku. I grudgingly look up from my plate to see who dared sit with us.

"Todoroki?" Deku blinks.

"Hm?" Fucking Todoroki raises his eyebrows before starting to eat without even looking at me. The fuck — is he so great that he thinks I'm not even worth a single glance? The though pisses me off.

Deku blinks again before looking at me as if to ask, "Is it fine?"

I glare at him because clearly, it's not fucking fine, but whatever.

"Bakugou, you've been glaring at me for quite a while now. Do you want to say something?" Todoroki asks indifferently pausing for a while.

"Oh, I think that's his neutral face though," Deku states to which Kirishima agrees.

 _What the fuck, Deku?_ I glare at him, irritated, before looking at Todoroki. The guy still has an apathetic expression on which annoys me to no end. "I think you should tone down your grudge towards everyone."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Especially towards Izuku." Todoroki glances at Deku whose eyes widen a little. "Are you so threatened by him? Are you so afraid that you'll lose to him — "

"Todoroki," Deku tries to stop him.

" — that you just try to put him down all the time?"

"You're fucking wrong, and I'm not afraid of losing to Deku because I'll fucking win."

"Then don't you think you should at least get along with him then?"

"What."

"Can't you do it?"

"What did you just say? Of course I can!"

The moment I see the smirk on Todoroki's face I knew I'd made a mistake. Kirishima's still eating, watching our exchange with interest, Deku's just speechless, looking at us blankly while I'm left glaring at Todoroki Shouto who went back to eating, ignoring me once again.

I fucking knew it. I knew it was going to end in the worst way possible.


	7. Chapter 7

I regret it. I really fucking do, and I hate to admit it, but I definitely acted too impulsively. I just badly wanted to prove Todoroki wrong in any way, but all I did was make him feel better about himself.

I grit my teeth, looking at Todoroki in annoyance who glances at me with an eyebrow raised, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. My glare intensifies, and if we aren't in class right now with a teacher right in front of us, I would have punched that grin off his fucking face. I look away trying to calm myself. I'll beat that guy someday. He can't just play with me like that. Damn it.

And now I have to fucking get along with Deku. I don't exactly have to. But still, I want to prove that fucknugget, Todoroki, wrong.

I can do anything.

Even getting along with that nerd.

But how do you fucking do that? That nerd has always been and will always be the bane of my existence, so how exactly will I get along with him? That annoying nerd gets on my nerves more than anyone, so it'll be difficult. But I can still fucking do it. I don't have any doubts that I won't be able to.

I steal a glance at Deku, whose full attention is clearly directed at our teacher, and try to figure out what it is that I really hate about him. Well, I hate that he ruined my plans, and is in Yuuei right now. I hate that he's so fucking useless. Or can I still say that now that he actually was able to... beat (ugh, that's the last fucking time he's gonna win) me?

I just hate that he still helps me and tries to be kind to me despite everything that I've done to him. What the fuck's with that? How does he manage to look at me with no hatred in his eyes in spite of all the insults and punches that I've thrown at him? He's always there. Always willing to save me.

Like he's my fucking hero.

Wait. What the fuck. There's something wrong with my brain. He's not my fucking hero. I'm the hero of myself. Goddamn it, why am I even thinking of this?

"...class dismissed."

The sound of everyone shuffling towards the door jolts me out of my train of thought. I shake my head, focusing on what's currently happening instead before walking out of the classroom.

"Bakugou, wait for me!"

I roll my eyes, not even bothering to stop and wait for Kirishima who's running to catch up with me. I'm only walking, yet he can't even keep up. Fucking slowpoke. While striding towards the exit, I happen to bump into Deku and his little trio much to my annoyance. (Of fucking course.) I was planning to simply pretend that I didn't see them when Kirishima decides that it's the best fucking time to join in.

"Bakugou!"

And so Deku turns and spots me while Kirishima stops beside me with a grin on his face.

Why is this guy always grinning? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with him? I glare at him, hoping that it can somehow wipe that grin off of his face. Punching him is definitely much more effective, but it's not like I'm going to hurt him because of a reason like that. I'm not fucking dumb.

I look up noticing someone's eyes on me. Todoroki is staring at me, his eyes daring and challenging, and as if the two of us have telepathy or something, I somewhat understand what's in his mind.

"You guys are going straight home?" I vaguely hear Kirishima asking.

"Yes, of course. It's not good to loiter around when instead, we can be studying and doing homework at home," someone answers — is it Iida? I don't fucking care, I'm too busy trying to formulate plans inside my head.

My eyes find Deku, and I try to look at him with an expression that's not angry or irritated. Because smiling is too fucking much. I'm not gonna do that. That's bullshit.

"Ka...cchan?" Deku's expression is a mix of confusion and amusement when he finally notices me.

My face immediately contorts with frustration when I recognize amusement in his tone. "It's fucking hard for me, okay?!" I explode looking at Todoroki angrily which causes the other three to pause and stare at us in confusion, unaware of what occurred.

"You don't have to try so hard, Kacchan." Deku gives me a smile, but I can still see that he's trying hard to keep his amusement at bay.

"Are you saying I can't do it?!"

I hear someone laugh, and I seriously would love to kill that fucking person who even has the audacity to laugh. There's nothing funny about this! "You shit-eating asshole!" I spat, shooting Todoroki a glare who continues chortling despite my furious expression.

"What's so funny?" That girl with floating powers — is her name Uraraka? — inquires.

"There's nothing funny. Fuck this. I'm leaving," I snap because I'm fucking done with this shit, and I walk away from all of them.

* * *

"Katsuki, why did you lock yourself in your room? Are you sick or something?"

"SHUT UP!" I bark when I hear my father knocking on my bedroom door. When he continues to knock, I let a string of curses escape my mouth, and the knocking comes to a halt.

The silence remains, but after a few seconds, I hear my mother's and father's voices slightly.

"So what's wrong with that punk?"

"I'm not sure. Something probably happened at school."

"That's rare."

"Maybe our Katsuki has finally found — "

"I FUCKING DIDN'T."


	8. Chapter 8

I'm walking through some sort of park wearing casual clothes with someone beside me. The atmosphere is calm and comfortable between us though I still don't know who the person I'm with is. Why the fuck am I not aware of who it is?

The two of us continue walking as we both take in the lush greenery of the trees around us, and I get the sudden urge to touch the boy beside me. My hand slowly moves towards his hand on its own. As if I can't fucking stop it. When our hands are finally intertwined, I stare at it for a while before turning to look at the face of the boy.

I can see the movement of his lips, but I can't hear the sound of his voice. Somehow though, I'm able to make out what he said last.

"...Kacchan."

"AHHHHH!" I immediately jolt awake. My eyes fly open, and I press my palm against my chest. My heart's beating erratically, and the breaths coming out of me are short and ragged as if I just woke up from a nightmare. Well, it was indeed a fucking nightmare. Any dream with Deku in it is a nightmare. The fuck — what even? I want to fucking wash my brain and get rid of that shit right now.

Fuck, even when he's not around, Deku still manages to ruin my day.

I shake my head, deciding to just go downstairs because I won't be able to sleep anymore because of that ridiculous, horrifying nightmare.

The living room is still empty when I arrive there, so I check the clock and realize that it's only 4:30 in the morning. I still have a lot of time before classes start, so I grab the remote from the table to turn on the television, hoping that it will somehow distract me from the fucking thoughts invading my mind.

Why the fuck do I remember that dream so vividly when I don't even remember most of my dreams right after waking up? The image is so fucking clear that it seems real. But it isn't real. Thankfully.

I fix my eyes on the television and see two men talking to each other. How fucking boring. I was about to change the channel when I heard the other man's question.

 _"Why indeed do people dream? Is there some sort of explanation for that?"_

 _"They say dreams are representations of people's deepest desires, you know. They say dreams are our unconscious desires — "_

I turn off the television at once cutting off whatever shit the man's going to say before throwing the remote on the couch. Fucking worthless. Unconscious desires? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard because I'm pretty sure holding Deku's hand isn't on my wishlist. As if I'd ever want to touch that nerd! I'd only want to do so if I'm going to punch him.

That dream is stupid.

But then why did I dream of something stupid? I mean I'm fucking sure I'm not stupid.

"ARGHHHH!"

"Katsuki, are you okay?"

I turn my head to look at my father, his head peeking out from the doorway of the living room.

I nod my head before lying on my stomach and burying my head in a pillow on the sofa. My head's a mess once again, and of course Deku's the fucking reason — as always. Even when we were kids, it was always him. I hate him for it.

* * *

The classroom is right in front of my eyes, but I'm yet to enter it. I just don't want to see that nerd's face right now. I don't fucking want to be reminded of that nightmare. Just thinking of it makes me want to barf.

I'm still contemplating on what to fucking do when I hear my name being called.

"Bakugou!"

I roll my eyes like it's fucking automatic whenever I hear Kirishima's voice calling me. I see him running towards me with a huge smile on his face, his arms opened widely as if he's going to hug me.

"The fuck is wrong with you?" I ask, dodging him and shoving his face.

"What is wrong with _you_?" he answers with the same question.

"Nothing," I reply in a low voice.

"Obviously there's something," he says, and I glare at him, "but I'm not gonna ask any more stupid questions."

He grins, and we both enter the classroom. He looks at me curiously. "Why were you staring at the door earlier? Were you thinking about destroying it with an explosion or something?"

"You said you weren't going to fucking ask."

"I said I wasn't gonna ask stupid questions though. That wasn't really stupid, was it?"

"It is stupid, so shut up."

Kirishima's lips form a pout, his eyelids drooping as he looks at me expectantly.

"Are you trying to make me throw up?" I deadpan.

"That was mean."

I ignore him instead of replying, but when I see Deku making his way towards us, I turn to Kirishima attempting to continue talking to him. I look at him, wracking my brain for any fucking topic, but my mind's a fucking mess again, and I can't find anything useful.

"Uh," Deku starts. "Kacchan, I'm sorry for yesterday..."

I can't hear the rest of Deku's words. I can only see the movement of his lips. What the fuck is this? I get the sudden urge to touch and hold his hand — the fuck, no fucking way. I glance at his hand, repressing the urge to lace our fingers together. I squeeze my eyes shut, clearing my head of every ludicrous thought before jerking my head up to look at Deku who has already begun his weird muttering.

"Oi, Midoriyaaa," Kirishima says, waving his hand in front of Deku's face before shaking his shoulders in an attempt to bring him back to reality.

"Oh." Deku shakes his head and blinks which somewhat, just somewhat, kinda, sorta looked adorable?

"FUCK!"

"Kacchan, I'm sorry. Did I make you mad again?" Deku asks anxiously while Kirishima just shrugs, patting Deku's shoulder reassuringly, and tells him, "I don't think that's it. Don't worry." Then, he glances at me knowingly as if he knows exactly what's currently plaguing my mind.

"I-I'll talk to you later then, Kacchan," Deku mumbles before leaving me in such a shocked state. Fuck, I want to wash my brain again.

Kirishima smirks at me, his eyebrows bobbing up and down, and I want nothing more than to make his face explode just so he can't look at me in that teasing way anymore.

"Shut the fuck up."

"I didn't even say anything."

"Don't fucking think of it then."

"How do you even know what I'm thinking?" he asks looking genuinely curious.

I'm about to open my mouth to retort when our homeroom teacher enters the classroom in his own strange way, so I simply shoot that fucker a glare while he rushes back to his seat.


	9. Chapter 9

I've decided to simply not pay Deku any attention the whole time. Every time he attempts to talk to me, I lay my head on my desk and pretend to be asleep, or I try to start a conversation with the person beside me (which always turns out horribly but whatever, it doesn't fucking matter as long as Deku lays off.) Damn it, that is not me at all, I don't "converse" with others if it's unnecessary but fuck, Deku always manages to make me do unexpected things. I really fucking hate it.

It seems as if I'm afraid of Deku what with all the avoiding — but, obviously, that isn't fucking true. I'm just unfamiliar with whatever this shit is. I'm not scared of this shitty feeling or anything. It's just fucking difficult to deal with because Deku's the root of the problem. Damn it. Why are things so hard when it comes to that nerd?

I almost pull my hair out in utter frustration before remembering that I'm still in class with only a few minutes left to lunch break, so I endure it instead because I'm not keen on showing others that I'm having trouble with something.

That's why when we are finally allowed to get out to have lunch, I dash out of the classroom without looking at anyone although I vaguely hear Deku's voice calling, "Kacchan," but I ignore it, focusing on reaching my destination instead.

"Kacchan!" I look behind me, and there's Deku, who's quickening his pace to match my own. "I want to talk to you."

What the actual fuck — how did that nerd even keep up with me? "Why the fuck are you following me?" I glare at him, stopping in my tracks because if I try to run away from him, it will be way too suspicious.

"Uh..."

Fucking Deku, this again? Why can't he just say whatever it is that he wants to say without all this hesitating and shit? It's so goddamn annoying!

"Deku, I swear if you don't fucking — "

Deku's eyes widen a little, and then he starts mumbling shit that I can't even properly understand. "You just seem really really angry, I mean you always seem angry, but I don't know, and it's probably because of me, right? And a while ago, I'm sorry although I don't really know what I did, but I — "

"DEKU! Shut the fuck up."

Deku flinches a little. "Sorry."

"Whatever."

"So — um, let's eat lunch together? Again?" he suggests, eyeing me unsurely while fidgeting and looking so horrendously awkward and...

Damn it. I definitely don't find it adorable. Fuck.

I don't answer him. I walk towards the cafeteria without glancing back at Deku who I see from the corner of my eye is tailing me while probably still looking awkward and fidgety. He definitely looks awkward. He's always been like that although these days, he's becoming more and more confident about himself which...

I mean I don't really know that. I don't care about Deku. I just tend to notice him more than the other students because he's a fucking nerd, and I hate him.

Once I'm seated, I start eating my food, not even bothering to acknowledge Deku, who sits right in front of me. I can feel him staring at me which peeves me so much that I can't fucking eat properly, and I seriously consider making his eyes explode because I absolutely detest it when he gawks at me like that. I know I'm amazing and all, but his stare is pretty fucking distracting. I don't exactly know why.

"Hi, Midoriya! Why didn't you wait for me, Bakugou?"

Deku finally tears his gaze away from me to turn to Kirishima with a smile while I continue eating as if I didn't hear Kirishima's question. It's not like I have any obligation to wait for him all the time. He's a fucking idiot.

The idiot sits beside Deku, and then they start talking. I don't bother listening to their conversation because it's fucking pointless to do so if I'm only going to forget all about it a few hours later. Nevertheless, I glance at them to see Kirishima's flailing his arms wildly as he tells Deku something which he probably made up while Deku's just there smiling and nodding while giving occasional comments whenever necessary.

I'm definitely not paying attention to them.

Their words are merely background noises until I hear Kirishima's extremely odd and farfetched question. At that moment, my full attention is automatically drawn to their conversation.

"What if Katsuki falls for you?"

Deku stares at him for a moment as I wait for his answer while making sure that my face betrays no emotion. I can't fucking read the expression on Deku's face which is really aggravating. I don't care what his answer's gonna be. I'm simply... curious. As I'm trying to identify what he's currently thinking, Deku starts laughing.

"That'd be weird." He's still chuckling while Kirishima looks at me looking kind of troubled, and I just don't fucking care.

However, even though I'm fairly certain that I don't care, an inexplicable irritation wells up within me, and I simply want to punch Deku in the face. What the fuck is this? I'm supposed to not care about this, but why do I feel so angry?


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm so sorry for not updating in ages. I've been so busy with school work, tests and whatnot, but I'll definitely do my best to update more. This is probably not enough to make up for the long absence, D: but I'll try my best to improve!**

* * *

"I didn't intend for that to happen. I feel really bad, man. I'm sorry!" Kirishima almost cries while his relentless apologies continue to annoy the living shit out of me. This started about an hour ago, and it hasn't stopped since, and it's fucking surprising that I haven't done anything morbid yet to shut him up.

"Fuck you, okay? Just shut your mouth and scram!"

Kirishima looks at me, forlorn, (why does he even look so sad?) before gripping my shoulder tightly which seems to be meant as something reassuring. I immediately shrug his hand off, and to my great irritation, it stays there instead and tightens its hold further.

"Do I have to fucking repeat — "

"Remember you can always talk to me, man," Kirishima says with a sad smile. (Again, what is he so fucking sad about?) "You don't have to keep everything to yourself."

I almost slap my forehead in utter frustration because this asshole is so fucking weird, and I absolutely do not understand what he's trying to say. "What the fuck. Shut up. You're not even making any sense, shitrag."

"Well, you like Midoriya, don't you?"

There's a pause. He looks at me while I stare at him, trying to detect anything that might show he's joking. After a few seconds of me examining his features, I rub my temple because he seems completely serious with what he said, and I'm left, absolutely astounded and horrified.

"What."

"You like him in an I-wanna-date-you-let's-get-married kind of way?"

"Fuck you. No — that's — what the fuck. Where did you even get that idea, you brainless piece of shit?" What in the world is going on in this guy's head? If I could just fucking rip it open just to see what weird things are floating about his brain right now, I would. Probably.

At first, he looks surprised. Then, his expression turns into disbelief. "You don't like him?" He raises his eyebrows, clearly not buying what I said.

"Hell no." As if I'd ever like that moron. "Have you fucking seen the way I treat him?"

Kirishima scratches his head, a look of perplexity drawn all over his face. He glances at me, shakes his head and asks, "You sure you don't?"

"Of course I am, you shitstain! How many times do I have to repeat myself for your measly brain to be able to comprehend it?"

"For some reason, I really don't believe you." He places a hand on his chin contemplating some shit or whatever. He sighs heavily, probably due to the effort he had to exert while thinking. "I mean, I've always thought you liked to, y'know, bully him because you wanted to hide your feelings or something. Like a little boy teasing and messing with the person he likes for the attention."

It takes a great amount of self-control for me to be able to not use my Quirk on this sorry excuse for a fucking human because damn — he's really fucking infuriating. The way he says all those things with a very serious expression is the most annoying thing I've ever fucking seen, not counting Deku's face of course. "You... you dare compare me to a little boy?! And why'd you even ask if you weren't going to believe me, you dumb shit?!"

"Oh, yeah, you've got a point, but still..."

"Whatever. Just fuck off!" I turn around and start walking away, distancing myself from this red-haired abomination.

"No — Bakugou. Wait!"

"FUCK OFF!"

I disregard him entirely, hurrying to the classroom because I don't want to deal with that shit. It's not that I'm running away. I'm definitely not. I don't fucking do that. It's simply because it's a waste of time to even talk about things like that especially when it's about that shitty nerd, Deku.

I don't like him.

Not in that sense.

I mean not in any sense. Obviously.

It's not like there's anything good about that asshole. Sure, he's fucking improved now. He's definitely not as weak and shitty as he was before when we were kids. He's no longer a fucking crybaby who can't even fight for himself. He's...

Well, he's still not as good as me. That's fucking certain.

And actually, he's still a crybaby. He'll probably always be...

Damn it, damn Deku! Why am I thinking about him again? Fucking Kirishima's fault.

I shake my head with so much intensity, driving all ridiculous thoughts away, before sitting down on my chair in the classroom. When I was finally able to clear my head, the door opens again to reveal the trio with Deku in the middle (what fucking divine timing, nerd, just when I've finally stopped thinking of him, he decides to show up). Almost instantly, he spots me and gives me a smile which I honestly don't fucking know how to respond to.

Involuntarily, I look away without acknowledging Deku. I frown when I realize how my heart is currently beating so rapidly right now.

I really fucking hate this nerd.

But what I hate the most about him is how he is the only one who can make me feel all sorts of fucking things.


	11. Chapter 11

**Happy New Year!**

* * *

I can't fucking sleep. I've tried every possible position to make myself more comfortable, but damn it, I really can't fall asleep. I turn to look at the clock, groaning when I realize that there are only a few more hours left until classes start.

I stare at the ceiling instead of continuing my vain attempts to get a shut-eye. What is this. Why am I experiencing this. It's clearly Deku's fault. Fuck, maybe this was his plan all along. He wanted to be my friend in order to mess with my mind like this.

Fucking hell, the lack of sleep is making me lose it.

I walk to school with my eyelids drooping and my eyes hurting. I hope I don't see Deku's face. My morning's already bad as it is. Seeing him will only make everything worse.

When I enter the classroom without encountering Deku, I sigh in relief. I put my stuff down and slump in my seat, head falling on the desk drearily. The desk is not even as comfortable as my bed, so why the hell am I almost asleep here within seconds of lying down? I bury my head in my arms hoping that no one will attempt to wake me up. Anyone who plans on disturbing me has a fucking death wish.

"Kacchan."

Fucking shit. Why can't I sleep in peace.

"Do you want to die?!"

I immediately sit up to glare at the piece of shit who is none other than Deku. He has a worried look on his face as he asks, "Are you okay?"

I grunt, "Fuck off."

But Deku doesn't fuck off. Instead, he places his palm on my forehead for whatever fucking reason he has while I swat his hand away, annoyed at how my face suddenly heats up. Deku stubbornly touches my forehead again, and I finally fucking lose it. Goddamn it, Deku.

"You're only making things worse, you useless piece of shit! I told you to fuck off, didn't I?! Stop trying to act like we've suddenly become friends because that'll never happen."

Deku stares at me for a while before letting out a weak "okay" and faltering to his chair.

What, Deku? I thought you weren't going to give up. What happened to that, huh? Not giving up, my ass. Turns out he can't even take something like this.

Damn it.

I don't even know if that made me feel great about myself or not.


	12. Chapter 12

"Can we talk, Bakugou-kun? Um, preferably somewhere more private," the girl who's always with Deku says to me when lunch break starts.

The obvious answer should be no, but I get the feeling that she won't give up until I listen to what she has to say. So I grudgingly nod before leaving the classroom to head to the rooftop. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Deku curiously watching us walk out.

"Oy, Bakugou!" I hear Kirishima yell, but I ignore him.

I quicken my pace to get to the rooftop, and when we arrive, I look at her with raised eyebrows.

"Bakugou-kun, I..." She breathes in, appearing to steel herself first before speaking. "I just wanted to say that Deku shouldn't always be the first one to reach out if you both want to fix your relationship. Deku's been down lately. I'm worried about him, so..." She trails off and looks at me hopefully.

I open my mouth uncertainly, expecting something—anything to come out, but nothing does so I simply look at her, unable to reply. Because what does someone even say to that? _I'm sorry?_ If yes, then fuck that because I don't plan on apologizing in any way to Deku. There's no fucking way I'd do that.

Uraraka watches me, seemingly waiting for my response which never comes, so she sighs heavily and says, "You can't always expect him to be the first one to apologize. Um, I mean — uh, sorry if I'm interfering too much, but I had to say something. For Deku's sake. You... your effect on Deku is just — it's too much."

I say nothing.

"Well, um, that's all."

She walks away slowly as if she's still expecting me to say something, and glances back, her eyes still showing the tiniest bit of hope.

I do my best to seem like I don't give a crap about what she said, and I'm fairly sure I succeeded judging by her reaction as she leaves the rooftop. Now that I'm all by myself, the emotions I've been bottling up explode, and I punch the wall beside me not caring about the pain that comes after. Why do I feel so angry? Am I mad at her for saying those things to me as if she fucking knows everything about me and Deku? Am I mad at her because she calls him "Deku" when I'm supposed to be the only one who fucking insults him with that nickname?

Bullshit. That doesn't even make any sense! Why would I be mad about a nickname? It's not even that significant!

Why the fuck am I so furious? Am I angry with Deku because he's being such a drama queen?

Damn it. I don't even know anymore.

I run down the stairs, thoughts spiraling inside my head, and I fucking hate how Deku's the main reason why my mind is such a mess right now. Deku. Why is it always him?

"Kacchan!"

FUCKING HELL.

I squeeze my eyes shut and clench my fists tightly. I don't even want to look at him right now. I feel the urge to punch something right now, and with Deku right in front of me, I'm surprised my fist hasn't landed on his face yet.

"Kacchan, U-Uraraka talked to you, right? That's — uh, she's just w-worried about me, so she... um..."

"Why are you talking to me?" I bark with laughter, mocking him. "Were you fucking expecting me to apologize after your little girlfriend talked to me?"

Why did that sound so fucking bitter?

Deku bites his lip, hurt flashing across his face.

I purse my lips and avert my gaze when I suddenly feel like retracting the words that came out of my mouth earlier. It was only for a split second, but I felt it nonetheless.

"T-That's not it, Kacchan," Deku says quietly, directing his gaze on the floor instead of me.

"Then, what is it?!" I growl, my chest heaving. Then, without my control, the following words fall out continuously. "Are you pretending to be mad because you want to hear me say sorry to you?! Hah?! You have no fucking right — "

Deku's eyes widen, and his face morphs into the most furious expression I've ever seen on him. "No right? You've been bullying me ever since we were kids, always making me feel worthless — as if I'm not capable of doing anything, but despite all that, I still admired you! Because you're amazing and you had the very thing I've wanted for ages! You're strong, and you used your strength to hurt me. But I endured it. You insulted me over and over and over again. Yet I still want you to be my friend... yet I still want to fix this because I li — I thought... I actually thought things were going well, but I guess I was wrong. Nothing's changed at all. You haven't changed at all, Kacchan."

Deku almost leaves, but I grab his wrist, stopping him midway. He turns to me, surprise evident on his face. His mouth is slightly open in shock most likely because I'm touching him. I'm fucking touching him without the purpose of inflicting pain on him. But damn it, that slight touch is so electrifying that I abruptly let go of him and make a dash for the classroom like a fucking coward, leaving Deku there.

WHAT THE FUCK. Did I just run away?!

I'm outraged. So fucking angry. Not with Deku nor with Uraraka but with myself.


	13. Chapter 13

Why did I do that? Holy fuck, I could have just grabbed his shoulder or whatever, but I just had to hold his wrist, didn't I? What the fuck was I even thinking? And I didn't even have to touch him to call his attention. I could have just said his name! What in the world came over me? That little shit is seriously so...

Confusing.

Fuck! I don't get confused! I've never gotten confused! Never in my whole life! Bakugou Katsuki always knows what to do, but right now, how come I feel so damn lost? I can't even figure out how to deal with this, and I really fucking hate not being able to figure things out. What's worse is that Deku is the one causing all this turmoil within me. How can that dumbass affect me this much?

I pull my hair in utter frustration, momentarily forgetting that I'm in front of my parents who now look extremely curious about my actions. My brow furrows automatically when I notice my father's obvious staring while my mother gobbles up her food seemingly uncaring.

He clears his throat before starting, "Katsuki's surprisingly quiet today. Does that mean you've found a girlfriend?"

"No." There isn't even any connection between those two statements! Fucking dumbass!

"A boyfriend then?" he continues prying.

"It's not like that! Just shut the fuck up!"

My father's expression morphs into a horrified one. "Oh no, Katsuki's back to how he really is."

"Just accept him for who he is," my mother says.

"I do love our Katsuki for who he is, but I know that beneath his rough and violent exterior, there's a gentle and loving nature, and I'm pretty sure there's someone — "

"I'm done." Shooting my father a glare, I stand up because I really don't fucking need to hear more of this shit.

I dash up the stairs, making sure to stomp as hard as I can to show that I'm irritated as fuck, before locking myself inside my bedroom.

I'm being ridiculous. I don't care about how Deku feels. I don't care if I somehow made him angry. I really fucking don't. It's always been like this. Ever since we were kids. I would always wind up doing something that will either hurt or anger him, and I never even cared about that. Not in the least. That's because he was nothing to me. Just a useless piece of shit.

Now, I'm not even sure why I care so much.

No, wait, I definitely don't care. I _don't_. When did I ever care?

But damn it, no matter how much I convince myself, no matter how hard I try to tell myself that I don't fucking care, I can't seem to get Deku's face out of my head.

I'm about to bang my head against the wall when I hear somebody knocking.

"Katsuki?" my mother calls. "I'm coming in!"

Before I can refuse, the door opens to reveal my mother, holding a bunch of keys.

"What the fuck? Do I have no privacy?" I complain.

"No." My mother steps inside my room and walks towards my bed before sitting down next to me. "So what's gotten your knickers in a twist?"

"None of your business."

"Of course it's my fucking business! I'm your mom." She rolls her eyes and smacks me in the head.

I grunt, more annoyed now than I was earlier. "Fucking hell. It's nothing, okay?!"

"Let me guess then." She pretends to think for a while before smirking. "It's about Izuku."

Despite my effort to prevent my face from showing any sign of agreement, my eyebrows immediately twitch from hearing Deku's name.

"I'm right," my mother says triumphantly. "So what about him?"

"Deku's got nothing to do with this." I gulp trying to make sure that my facial expression doesn't betray me.

I hear my mother sighing heavily. "You know... Izuku is a really good person. If someone ever does something bad to him, as long as that person apologizes _sincerely_ , it will be fine."

"Who the fuck cares?!"

"I'm just saying," she says with a shrug. She eyes me carefully before standing up and leaving me in my room, still horribly lost and confused.


	14. Chapter 14

It seems like my trouble with sleeping has come back, and once again, it's all Deku's fault.

I have no idea what that asshole has done to me. All I know is that everything has changed, and it all started when he—god, I still fucking hate admitting it—beat me. I simply can no longer look at him as the useless, quirkless boy who always follows me around like when we were kids. Now, he is so much more than that, and it's so troublesome, damn it.

Ugh.

Fuck this. I don't want to lose sleep, but no matter what I fucking do, my mind just doesn't want to cooperate. It's like it wants me to stay awake and think about that shitty Deku all night.

Is this some sort of witchcraft? Did Deku put a fucking spell on me? I don't even want to think of that. It's such a stupid idea. It's so stupid that I can't believe I, the great Katsuki, was the one who thought of that.

I bury my head in my pillow, doing my best to not scream because of all the weird thoughts invading my head.

"Fuckfuckfuck," I grunt into the pillow before grabbing it and tossing it across my bedroom. I immediately regret it when the door suddenly opens, the pillow going straight for my mother's shocked face before I can do anything else.

"Katsuki..." my mother starts slowly, her eyes glinting dangerously as she picks up the fallen pillow from the floor. "What the fuck?"

"It's your fault." I sit up and look at her, my face aloof. I have an inkling of what she is about to do, and as I watch her hands grip the pillow tightly, I raise my eyebrows, challenging.

Sure enough, she abruptly draws back and then forcefully throws the pillow towards my direction. Too bad she missed.

"Damn it!" she exclaims.

I roll my eyes at her feeble attempt.

"Hey, little punk, I came here 'cause I was worried, but what the fuck were you even doing?!"

"I was fucking sleeping!" God, I wish that was true.

"You obviously weren't!" my mother shouts, her voice loud enough to wake up the whole neighborhood.

"Well, shit, what d'you wanna hear? I was lying fucking awake while thinking about fucking useless things?!"

"Yeah, that's more like it!"

"Agh! I've had enough! I need to go out for a walk," I announce, getting off of my bed and walking past my mother who eyes me with concern.

"It's late," she states as if that's enough to make me change my mind.

"I can take care of myself."

"You're not gonna change?"

I pause, wondering if it's worth the effort.

"It's cold outside."

"For fuck's sake, it's not like my Quirk becomes useless in the cold," I mutter in reply, deciding not to change clothes since it'll probably be a quick walk anyway. I just need to sort myself out, and I can't do that here in my bedroom since it's too fucking suffocating.

The night breeze hits me the moment I step outside of our house which made me contemplate going back and changing into warmer clothes because it's really cold as fuck. I rub my palms together hoping to create some heat before starting to tread through the streets.

As I silently walk through the dark street, I recognize the places in which Deku and I used to spend our childhood.

That fucking tree.

That's where I first punched Deku in the face because he defied me. After following me and watching me from afar for so long, he tried to tell me off for... what was that? Being mean?

I still remember those words.

"Kacchan, you're being mean!" Deku yelled in that high-pitched voice of his.

And that's when I hit him. Fuck, it was his fault for pissing me off. I ignore the sudden feeling that hit my chest and continue walking instead of dwelling on the past.

The only problem is this neighborhood is full of memories with Deku.

Damn it. Fuck Deku and his infuriating face!

There it is again. That feeling. The feeling of guilt. When the fuck did I start feeling this way?

I really dislike this feeling, the feeling of wanting to apologize and to make things right. Fuck, that girl friend of Deku actually made me, Bakugou Katsuki, want to say "sorry."

Holy shit. There must be something wrong with my head.

* * *

"Good morning!" Kirishima slaps me on the back, his whole face lit up with joy as if everything in life is perfect. As he registers the huge scowl on my face, his smile slowly disappears. "You don't look so good."

"I didn't ask for your opinion, asshole," I grumble.

The walk last night didn't do me any good at all. In fact, it only seemed to have made things so much worse. The only positive thing that has happened is that I haven't seen Deku.

"Yeaah, okay, so what's wrong with you?" Kirishima shrugs off my glare and goes back to his usual jaunty self. When I ignore his question, he starts again. "Hey, what's wro—oh wait, yo, Kaminari!" Kirishima looks at me and holds a hand up as if to say 'wait a second' before running off.

Yeah, don't fucking come back.

The joy of being rid of Kirishima is only momentary as I spot Deku shamelessly staring at me looking like he is dying to say something. When he notices that I've caught him, his eyes widen, and he immediately looks away and pretends to be so engaged in his conversation with his friends.

For fuck's sake, I'm getting tired of that fucking reaction.

After a few seconds, Deku looks back, this time with a determined expression, and then he starts walking towards me. I look him in the eye to make sure that he is actually walking in my direction. Our eyes meet, and damn it, I had to hold my breath wondering if I should fucking glare at him or run instead—wait, the fuck, I'm not going to run from Deku!

I decide to maintain my cool, making sure that the inner turmoil I'm currently having is not showing on my face when Todoroki suddenly appears and wraps his hand around Deku's wrist.

"Izuku," he says firmly.

They look at each other for what feels like half a fucking hour, as if they're having a secret conversation with their eyes, before he lets go of Deku's fucking wrist. Deku sighs, not looking back at me, and turns away.

What the fuck? Is this fucknugget, shitrag, piece of shit playing with me?

The unease is killing me.

What was that about? Fuck, Deku's friends really want me to make the first move, huh? I have to be the one who reaches out first this time.

Is it fucking worth it though?

I'm not even sure anymore.

But, shit, if this is the only solution to my sleepless nights, then maybe, just maybe, it is worth it.

I abruptly stand up—then everyone stares at me.

"Yes, is there a problem?"

Fuck, I forgot I'm still in class. I shake my head sitting down and ignoring the confused, some amused looks (including Todoroki, damn you, shithead) from my classmates.

I tap my fingers on the desk rapidly, waiting for lunch break to start, just so I can get this over with.

When final-fucking-ly, the teacher says his last words to the class, telling us to do our homework and to study hard for an upcoming test, he leaves the room, and I immediately look behind.

"Deku." He doesn't acknowledge me.

Fucking hell, what the heck was Todoroki and his eye conversation all about? Damn, how the fuck did they even do that? Talking with just their eyes.

"You... Dumbass."

Still nothing.

"Damn it. Fucking look at me, you piece of shit. I'm trying to say something here."

Deku sighs heavily. Good, at least he fucking reacted.

Okay, two simple words. I just need to say two simple—fuck it, it's not simple at all.

"I'm... sor... I'm so..." I see a small smile starting to form on Deku's face, and all of a sudden, the urge to say sorry is gone. "I'M NOT APOLOGIZING, YOU FUCKING NERD!"

"Huh?" Deku looks at me, the emotionless mask he had a while ago gone as he looks at me hopelessly. "But..."

"Fuck you. Don't look at me like that." It makes me want to apologize again.

Deku sighs again and looks down at his feet, his fingers nervously playing with the hem of his uniform. "It's just they told me not to speak with you... well, umm, until you say sorry."

"The fuck?"

"But I guess I can't help it. I can never leave my friends alone." Deku smiles, and a strange warm feeling blooms in my chest. Fuck you, Deku and the things you make me feel.


	15. Chapter 15

"You really need to come to terms with, you know, your feelings for Midoriya," Kirishima says, face looking uncharacteristically serious as he shoves food in his mouth. Lunch break isn't even ending in another thirty minutes. Why the hell is this weirdo eating like there's no tomorrow? "Confess to him or something."

The food right in front of me suddenly loses its appeal.

I glance at him, quite surprised at his tone which is not the usual cheerful, 'everything-in-life-is-good' one. It's probably not a big deal. After all, he's also a human being and obviously, has emotions other than being joyful because fuck, it would be fucking creepy if this assrag piece of shit spends all his fucking days with a smile on his face as though it's permanently plastered there. "Do you fucking hear what you're saying right now?" I deadpan because besides his strangely humorless tone, the words that came out of his mouth are just plain stupid which, come to think of it, is not surprising at all considering that Kirishima said it.

"Look, do you actually like him?" he asks, and I notice that he sounds a little stressed while saying that, and I have no idea why. _It's not even his fucking problem._ I don't get this guy and whatever the fuck's running through his head. Why is he so worried about something that doesn't even concern him? "I mean you haven't admitted it, but I really really think you _do_ like him because I've seen the way you look at him. I'm not saying that's—"

I cut him off, my curiosity getting the better of me, "Why the fuck are you so bent on talking about this? And why the fuck are you so nosy, hair-for-brains?" For a moment, Weird Hair just gawks while I muster the most uncaring expression I can.

Then, he sighs heavily, running his palm down his face, clearly exasperated. "Don't change the subject. Just answer—"

"Don't you have something better to do, you motherfucking shithead, or do you just have a fucking death wish?"

"I told you, man, don't change the subject! Ugh, if you really want to know why I'm doing this, it's because you're my friend, and I want you to be happy." Kirishima looks away, pouting, and crosses his arms (which makes him look like a whining child because his parents didn't buy him the toy he wanted.)

Also, I refuse to admit that what this stupid ass Kirishima said actually, sort of, kind of made me feel... _good_.

Fuck this guy for being so earnest. He should just die.

I clear my throat and my head before asking, "And what makes you think that I'll be happy once I confess to that damn nerd?"

Kirishima frowns for a moment, as if he's thinking hard ( _that's_ new) about what I just said and then arches his eyebrows, a grin starting to form on his face, and suddenly, he's back to his typical lively self as if a switch has just been flipped. "Did you just indirectly admit your affections for Midoriya?" he asks with thinly-veiled delight.

I almost choke on air when I hear that. "HAH?! The fuck are you even talking about?" I mentally go through every single thing I said which might have insinuated that I somehow have feelings for Deku and find nothing. None at all. Hopefully. "Are you confusing fantasy with reality?"

"Dude, you just said it. You said, 'once I confess to that nerd,' which means you're wholeheartedly accepting what you feel!"

"Fuck, you're dumber than I thought. I meant that statement hypothetically, of course! And I'm gonna fucking kill you if you don't shut up right now!"

Kirishima shakes his head dubiously, ignoring my last statement. "Oh, but if Midoriya confesses to you, what'll you do?"

An image of a blushing, floundering Deku as he confesses suddenly pops in my mind, and I don't fucking know how to feel about it. All I feel right now is the abnormal thudding of my heart against my chest and the rushing of blood to my face. I gasp inaudibly, suddenly finding it hard to breathe, before looking at Kirishima whose smirk is clearly saying that he completely knows what's going on with both my body and mind.

How the hell does he even do that? Fuck, is my facial expression really that fucking obvious? What kind of expression am I even making right now?

"Shut up," I growl, unable to think of something smarter to say even though I'm perfectly capable of doing so under any kind of situation which doesn't involve Deku.

"I'm not saying anything." Kirishima raises both of his hands innocently, the shit-eating grin still present on his face.

"You...no way. No _fucking_ way."

Kirishima beams, nodding his head enthusiastically. "Oooh, yes way!" he exclaims, triumphantly clapping his hands like a fucking seal. "By the way, you're blushing really hard right now. Wait, where's my phone? I need to take a picture of this glorious moment."

I smack him on the head because fuck no, I'm not... _blushing_. I don't blush! I actually contemplate on picking up my fork to stab his hand with it but decide otherwise because it probably won't work considering that his quirk allows his body to harden.

"FUCK OFF!"

"Imagine Midoriya without a shirt on!" Kirishima waggles his eyebrows playfully and winks at me suggestively. I hear some of our classmates sitting near our table chuckle at what he said, and I really want to punch each of them on their fucking noses.

And no, I definitely didn't imagine a shirtless Deku!

Fuck.

"Y-you...s-shut the fuck up if you still want to live, you stupid bastard!"

"Pretty sure I'm not stupid. Are you sure you're not talking about Kaminari?" Kirishima says loudly, making sure his voice carries to the other table where that yellow-haired guy is sitting. "Hey!" the guy responds in an offended tone.

"What the fuck is a Kaminari?" I ask in a low voice.

Kirishima looks at me in shock for a moment and then facepalms. "Oh god, Bakugou, please remember all your classmates' names and not just Midoriya's."

"Shut up. I don't fucking care. You're all mere extras."

Once again, Kirishima ignores what I said and instead, continues convincing me to fucking hook up with Deku. "Tell him you want to go home together," he suggests while shoving a thumbs-up sign in my face.

"Hell no, and get your filthy hand off me!"

"It's a good idea!"

"It's _your_ idea, so clearly, it's not worth shit."

"What? But why?" Kirishima complains loudly which makes me want to punch him in the mouth to shut him up. Preferably forever. Unfortunately, before I can raise my fist to actually hit him, he continues excitedly, "It's a great way to start a relationship. You two can go home together everyday, and then Midoriya'll invite you to his house, and then to his room and then you two will—"

I abruptly cut him off before he can say anything else. "GO TO HELL, YOU ASSRAG PIECE OF SHIT."

The walk back to our classroom is pure torture. With Kirishima's incessant nagging, I just can't fucking focus on anything. This fucking idiot's mouth has no filter at all, and no matter how much I tell him that I don't fucking care about what he's saying, he just keeps going like a fucking dumbass.

I'm able to tune out everything that's coming out of his mouth, but he suddenly shouts _something_ which forced me to pay attention again.

"Oh, look, Midoriya! I think Bakugou wants to tell you something!" Kirishima yells, gesturing Deku to come over. Deku looks at me questioningly, so I shake my head vigorously trying to tell him that _no, fucker, I have absolutely nothing to say to you_ while Kirishima keeps on asking Deku to come. "It's really important, I swear!"

Because Deku's a complete nutjob, he follows Kirishima's order instead of mine and walks towards us. With every step he takes, I find myself sweating more and more which is not a nervous reaction at all—it's just really fucking hot here.

"Aw, don't be nervous, dude. I've got you," Kirishima whispers to me while nudging my stomach.

"Fuck you."

He pats me on the back with a grin and then looks at Deku who is currently staring at me in confusion. "What did you want to tell me?" he asks me, and I have no fucking idea why it's so difficult for me to maintain eye contact when Deku doesn't seem like he's having a hard time at all. He's looking at me intently, urging me to answer even though I don't fucking know what the answer is. I don't know what I want to tell him. I don't even want to tell him anything!

It's all Hair-for-Brains' doing!

I turn to look at Kirishima only to see no one beside me. My eyebrows scrunch up in bafflement which slowly turns into rage.

Where the hell is that bastard?!

FUCK! I'm definitely going to kill that piece of shit!

"Kacchan?" Deku waves his hand in front of my face to try to get my attention. When I return my gaze to him, he jumps a little, looking nervous all of a sudden.

"WHAT?!" Why the fuck is he suddenly so jittery?

I notice him flinch at my voice, and I try to repress the surge of guilt that ran through me. "Y-You wanted to tell me something?" he stutters.

"That's—" I stop abruptly to quickly formulate sentences in my head, but it seems like everything in my mind is just a vague whirling mess of curses. "Fuck this shit. I don't fucking know."

"Huh?" Deku tilts his head, still perplexed about the whole situation, and it's not like I can blame him for feeling that way. Even _I'm_ fucking bewildered right now.

From my peripheral vision, I see Deku's friends walking towards us, and suddenly, the words come tumbling out of my mouth in a rush.

"Gohomewithmelater."

Deku's eyes widen, and I know for sure that he understood the entirety of what I said even though I spoke really fucking quickly. When he finally composes himself, he asks, "Wha—"

"Fuck you. I know you heard me loud and clear. I am not repeating that sentence."

A smile slowly breaks out of Deku's face, and I feel my face burning in embarrassment. But, fuck, for some reason, I don't care about that because all I can see right now is Deku's beaming face.

* * *

 **If you're still reading this, I'd like to say thank you!! Teehee. Also, I'm so sorry for the wait!!**


	16. Chapter 16

When I enter the classroom with Deku, my eyes immediately search for Hair-for-Brains.

"Later, Kacchan," Deku says with a smile before walking away.

The warm feeling in my chest dissipates, replaced by extreme ire, when I spot Hair-for-Brains.

"YOU FUCKING DICKHEAD." I maneuver my way towards said dickhead who is currently standing and talking to that pink girl to give him a piece of my mind. He spots me walking towards him and grins as if he can't see the painfully obvious glare that I'm sending him. His face is curious like he's dying to know what transpired after he fucking left.

"What? You got rejected?" he asks, his voice quiet. "You look angry."

"FUCK YOU. NO." I slam my hand on the desk, making the pink girl jump in surprise.

His eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Then what are you so salty about?"

"It's all your fucking fault!" Fuck, how could I ask Deku to go home with me? What's that damn nerd even thinking about right now? _Fuck him for occupying my mind like this when I can be thinking of things that are so much more important._ "I... can't fucking stop thinking... of him."

"Good, that means you have a brain." Kirishima chortles.

I jab him in the stomach. "It's your fucking fault that I'm going home with that damn nerd," I grumble, trying my best to sound annoyed which is fucking disturbing because I don't remember having to put effort into feeling irritated about anything concerning Deku. Now, I'm not even the least bit irritated at the thought of spending more time with that fucking nerd.

"You're welcome." Kirishima beams and pats me on the shoulder.

I stay silent, finding no reason to refute what he just said.

"Are you nervous? Is that why you're mad?"

My eyes twitch in anger and disbelief. "Fuck you! Do I look nervous to you?!"

Kirishima has the gall to grin and shrug. "Kind of."

"Go die, you asshole." I make my way towards my seat, still seething, before stealing a quick glance at Deku. He looks happy talking to the guy with glasses and that round faced girl. I don't even fucking know how, but seeing him like that fills me with an indescribable feeling.

It's stupid. And fucking cheesy.

Damn it.

Before I know it, afternoon classes have started, and I have to push Deku off of my mind. I do my best to give my full undivided attention to the teacher, making sure that I can understand every single thing being taught to us. Obviously, I don't have to put that much effort into taking in the information being disseminated because I'm a fucking genius.

My gaze follows All Might as he paces around the room, going on and on and discussing about Foundational Hero Studies. For quite a while, my attention stays on him, and everything he is explaining is absorbed into my mind effortlessly, but then, I feel someone's fingers on my fucking back which halts my perfect concentration. I clench my fists controlling my annoyance at having been disturbed before turning to the damned nerd sitting behind me.

"The fuck do you want?"

"Kacchan, I just wanted to ask. I'm not really sure what you meant a while ago when you told me to go home with you later. Did you mean—um, we'll walk home together and I'll go home, like, to my own house?" he asks, keeping his voice as low as possible.

I stare at him blankly, wondering why he is so fucking dumb. Once I compose myself, I tell him, "Fucking hell, Deku, you're so stupid!"

A few heads turn to look at us while All Might continues talking as if he didn't hear my voice. Maybe he really didn't.

"It's a sensible question though," Deku argues though he sounds quite anxious. He looks at his desk for a while before locking eyes with me again. "You said, 'Go home with me later,' right? I-I think I have the right to be confused."

"Why the fuck would I want you in my house?" I ask.

Deku's eyelids droop slightly, almost unnoticeably, but I catch it anyway. "You're right," he replies with a smile. He averts his gaze, taking the ballpen on his desk, and writes on his notebook as he begins listening to All Might again.

I turn around to do the same thing except for the jotting-down-notes part, but I am reminded of the feeling of that damned nerd's fingers on my back.

Fuck.


	17. Chapter 17

**B** **akushima = best bros**

 **Thank you so much for reading this! I appreciate you all. :3**

Time seems to be passing by slowly. It's our last subject for the day, but it seems like it's going on forever.

I tap my fingers on the desk impatiently while staring at the the clock on the wall, waiting for us to be dismissed. Our homeroom teacher drones on and on regarding some shit which I'm pretty sure nobody cares about seeing as noone is paying attention to what he's saying. He should just let us out.

He continues talking for another five minutes before finally deciding to dismiss us. At that exact moment, I grab my bag and start walking towards the door.

"Wait, Kacchan."

I look back to see Deku hurriedly putting his stuff back into his bag before running towards me with a fucking smile on his face. I want to wipe it off. Specifically, by punching him or kicking him in the face.

Obviously. How else?

"What do you want, nerd?" I grumble, the scowl on my face only growing when I see Deku's gang coming towards us.

But of course I know what the fucking answer is. I haven't forgotten about what I asked him earlier. I just didn't want to have to be the one to approach the matter. It's not like I fucking wanted this...

...even though I was the one who asked in the first place.

Damn it. What the fuck is wrong with me?

"You told me a while ago," he says uncertainly, his face showing the slightest bit of disappointment, "that we'll go home together."

I'm about to say something when somebody pats me on the back with enough force to make an average person fall over, but because I'm above fucking average, I remain upright. My eyes blaze with fury as I turn my head to see what kind of stupid person has the balls to do that to me.

Fucking hell. Of course it's Hair-for-Brains!

"MOTHERFU—"

"Good luck, Bakugou!" he cuts me off. Grinning, he leaves the classroom with a bunch of other people but not without glancing back at me with a wink.

What the fuck.

 _Disgusting_.

I turn my gaze back to Deku only to see him already talking with his friends. That glasses guy, the round-faced girl and that half-and-half bastard. As they're planning to leave, I hear the glasses guy say, "Be safe, Midoriya. If Bakugou gets violent, call us."

"THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?" I glare at him while thinking about where it would hurt most if I were to hit him.

The glasses guy frowns and starts making his way back towards me and Deku, but the round-faced girl and the bastard stop him before dragging him off.

When the three of them have gone, Deku sighs heavily. "Kacchan, Iida didn't mean to offend you. He meant well." He touches my shoulder gently in an attempt to calm me down which is not necessary at all because I'm perfectly calm and composed right now.

Except maybe for my fucking heart which is wildly pounding in my chest for some reason.

Why does it feel like my face is burning?

Deku's grip on my shoulder tightens. "Are you okay?" he asks, worry written all over his face. "Your face looks kind of red."

I shrug off his hand quickly. "NO."

"You're not okay?" Deku's eyes widen. "Then should we—"

"For fuck's sake, shut up."

"But—"

"If you don't fucking stop, I'm leaving you."

Deku retracts his hand, defeated. "Okay." A few seconds of silence pass before he continues, "Let's go then."

Without a word, I start walking, my hands shoved deep inside my pockets, so they won't be able to do anything fucking stupid. Deku follows just a little farther behind as though he's unsure whether he wants to walk beside me or not. After what seems like a minute, he decides to walk right beside me.

I continue ignoring him, reassuring myself that he absolutely did nothing which affected me, but still, I feel the creases on my forehead soften just a little.

The walk back to our houses is pretty uneventful as opposed to our train journey. Nothing really earth-shattering happened then, just Deku's own stupidity and clumsiness. He fell down due to lack of balance, and I didn't catch him, nor did I help him up. Merely laughed at him while he tried to regain his balance which I thought would definitely made him annoyed, but it just made him smile.

At that moment, I wondered if there was actually something wrong with his head. Then he said, "You laughed."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I just fucking ignored him for the rest of the ride. The remaining time was spent in silence, and now that we're walking, the silence is so fucking deafening, and I don't even know what to do. In my head, I have estimated the number of minutes it will take for us to separate.

Why can't it come sooner?

"Kacchan, are you mad?"

"Huh? What the fuck?" I turn to him, shocked that he suddenly started speaking.

"You're so quiet," Deku mutters

What the hell, why does this guy have to notice every fucking thing? He pays attention to every single detail, and it's so goddamn annoying!

"You're fucking stupid," is my only answer.

"Stupid enough to forgive you right away even though you said some really harsh things to me?" he mumbles in reply, his voice extremely low.

I abruptly stop in my tracks before looking at Deku seriously.

He raises his eyebrows in surprise when I pause. "I was joking, Kacchan," he says, the smile on his face looking extremely disgusting. I can't fucking believe he actually thinks that will convince me.

"That didn't sound like a joke at all, you moron."

"It was a joke," he presses.

"That's fucking bullshit."

Deku sighs. "Of course I _was_ mad, Kacchan. I mean basically, what you said meant that you're only okay with me right now because I got a quirk. But that's in the past, okay?"

"That's... I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine, Kacchan. We're fine. I told you I've forgiven you." The smile on his face looks more natural now.

"Fuck. You're really stupid."

 _Why do you even put up with me?_

Deku's mouth opens slightly in surprise. He stares at me for a moment like he's making sure he's not imagining anything.

 _Fuck. Did I say that out loud?_

Then he looks at me as if the answer is fucking obvious. "That's because I like you."

I gawk at him, my mind completely blank. "What."

Deku grins, waves and turns around. "Bye, Kacchan! I'll see you tomorrow." Before I can even make a move to stop him, he has already run off.

 _That little shit._

That damn nerd must have meant that differently. He likes me in a friendly way. Like that and only that. Because if he meant that in a romantic way, then that's the most anticlimactic confession I've ever fucking seen.


	18. Chapter 18

**first of all, i am so ashamed for leaving this story for almost a year. i really want to finish this because i've never written anything this long that's not academically related lmao. and that's not even saying much because this story is not that long.**

* * *

The moment I enter the classroom the day after, I'm met with Kirishima's stupid ass face, and for some reason, he looks especially eager about something that I have no idea about.

"So... how did it go?" he asks, a knowing look on his face.

I give him the side-eye. "How did _what_ go? Be more specific, you fucker."

"Oh, come on, you know what I'm talking about!" He glances at Deku and then looks back at me with raised eyebrows. His smile grows even bigger when he sees me seething.

"Shut up," I grunt.

He shakes his head fondly and then nudges my shoulder with his elbow. "Aw, you really _do_ like him."

"NO."

"But you want to spend time with him, right?"

I pause for a few seconds, speechless. (Which only happens sometimes, okay?)

I briefly look at Deku as if doing so will supply the correct answer.

"I... _don't_ dislike it."

"God, you're so difficult." Kirishima shakes his head. "You don't dislike it, huh? Because you're the one who said it, I can confidently say that it translates to 'I absolutely want to spend time with him because I like him.'"

"Fuck you."

Just when Kirishima is about to open his mouth for another reply, the dumb blonde guy with this weird fucking hair appears beside him, butts in and for some reason, thinks it's completely fine to fucking place his hand on my shoulder. I scowl at him, shrugging his hand off of me in a huff. Kirishima just chuckles and gives the dumbass a comforting glance before returning his gaze to me.

"So...did something happen with Midoriya yesterday?" Weird Hair no. 2 asks casually. I feel my eyebrows slowly drawing together, my eyes squinting, and my fists clenching—all of which are signs that I'm about to fucking blow up because what the fuck—why does this asshole know about that? Did this fucker, Kirishima, tell him?! The grin on the blonde's face tells me that he hasn't noticed the deadly glare that I'm giving him which just proves that he's actually a fucking dumbass.

"YOU TOLD THIS DUMBASS?" I snarl making a few curious heads turn to our direction.

Kirishima flinches before flailing his arms furiously. "What? No! I didn't tell anyone!"

"How did this dumbass know then?" He's a fucking idiot! He wouldn't know anything if no one told him.

"I have a name, you know, and it's not dumbass. Ka-mi-na-ri. Or Denki, if you like."

Kirishima is still wildly gesturing with his hands while looking at the idiot. "I definitely didn't tell you. I've never told anyone!" It doesn't sound like he's uncertain. He seems confident that he absolutely hasn't told anyone about it, but I still don't fucking trust him.

"Huh? About what?"

"About Bakugou liking Midoriya," he whispers, seemingly afraid of anyone else finding out. He'd better be! I'm going to make his fucking face explode if it reaches the wrong ears and if Deku finds out.

"Go fuck yourselves!" I try to tune out of the conversation because fuck, it sounds like we're fucking gossiping, and that's something that I don't ever want to be known for doing.

The dumbass stays silent for a little while before saying, "I didn't know."

"Eh?" Kirishima's eyebrows knit together in confusion.

Reluctantly, the dumbass looks at me with a sort of careful expression as if he's afraid that one wrong word can make me explode in fits of rage. He clears his throat and explains, "I just saw the two of you walking together yesterday and thought it was weird, so I asked. I didn't know that it was... uh... well, _this_."

A few seconds pass before Kirishima and I are able to let what he said sink in.

"Oh," Kirishima utters, pointedly avoiding my gaze. "Crap, I messed up."

I crack my knuckles, glaring at this red-haired abomination. "Yes, you fucking did."

"You went home together... and you didn't punch him or anything?" the dumbass stupidly asks as if he can't fucking read the atmosphere at all.

I bang my fist on the desk.

"Wow, you sure he didn't hit Midoriya or anything?"

"He doesn't look hurt to me. On the contrary, he looks strangely… happy." Both idiots turn to look at me curiously, their facial expressions mirroring each other.

"I didn't do anything, okay? Now, fuck off."

Kirishima nods in satisfaction. "That's great! Now, all you have to do is keep that up. Don't mess up!"

The dumbass adds, "If you suddenly get the urge to punch him, just breathe slowly and think about how much you like him."

"Yeah, but seriously, if you hit—"

I cut him off, "Shut the fuck up."

"Oh, right, this is a secret. We'd better stop talking about this here."

Kirishima grins at the dumbass before looking at me seriously. "Don't worry, man. Our lips are sealed."

"You two are the biggest fucking idiots I've ever met."


	19. Chapter 19

I've always taken pride in not giving a single fuck about other people's opinions and thoughts regarding anything. People can fucking hate me, and I wouldn't even bat an eyelid. In my life, there has always been only one thing that I truly cared about, and that's my goal to be the number one hero.

I really fucking wish everything just stayed that way.

Maybe if things fucking stayed the same, I won't feel this shitty over something that's beyond my control. It's a weird feeling—getting ignored by someone who was all over you just a few days ago. It's even weirder when you have no fucking idea what transpired for this shit to happen to you.

"Is he really ignoring you?" Kirishima asks. "That's not Midoriya at all."

I shrug in response, trying to look uncaring despite the crappy feeling inside me. It's been days since the last time Deku and I talked to each other, but I can't find it within myself to fix whatever this shit is because I didn't even do anything remotely bad to bring out this sort of reaction.

What kind of bastard tells someone that they like that person and then proceeds to pretend like the latter doesn't even exist immediately after?

"You should approach him," Kirishima suggests.

At that, I turn to look at him with a scowl. "Why the fuck should I?"

"What do you want to do then? Wait and mope around?" He rolls his eyes and then grabs my shoulder to shake me. "Wake up, man. You've got to get your act together."

I jostle him away before standing up.

"Ow," I hear Kirishima mumble. Just as I'm about to walk away, he says, "Midoriya's in the hallway talking to someone from Class-B."

"I didn't fucking ask," I respond without even looking at him.

"Oh, whatever, casanova. Go get your man."

"Fuck you, asshole."

* * *

When I see Deku standing alone in the hallway, I do my best to just get my shit together (which came from my own resolve and not because Kirishima told me something similar earlier) and walk over towards him. He still hasn't noticed me coming which is good. He might bolt if he sees me, and I'm not in the fucking mood to play tag and chase him right now.

I'm about two meters away from him when Deku suddenly turns his head and spots me. As expected, he yelps, tries to run away immediately after seeing me and then proceeds to trip on air which is really fucking stupid of him. He lands face first on the floor.

"What the fuck—hey, you fucker, why are you avoiding me?" I ask, ignoring the way he fell in front of me. It's his fucking fault anyway.

He groans in pain when he attempts to get up from the ground, rubbing his face which has turned red from the contact. "Kacchan, let's not talk about that here please."

"We will talk about it wherever the fuck I want."

Deku groans again, this time due to exasperation. "Fine, then. I just... didn't know how to talk to you after what happened, okay? I seriously don't know what I was thinking."

"What? After you told me you liked me? Ah, so you actually meant it, huh?" I grumble, hating the queasy feeling in my stomach.

"Yes, Kacchan. Why would I joke about that?"

I glare at him. His sarcastic tone is pissing me off. "Are you fucking questioning me? You fucking told me it'd be weird if I fell for you, but you liked me the whole time? What the hell is wrong with you? You're a fucking masochist, aren't you?" I mock him loudly. I don't even care if there are people listening to us right now.

Deku spins around nervously, scanning our surroundings to see if somebody heard what I said. When he sees nobody paying attention, he lets out a relieved sigh and glowers at me. "No! It's because it _is_ weird! You liked bullying and insulting me. I mean if you like someone, Kacchan, would you seriously hurt that person on purpose?"

"Well, I _guess_ because I fucking like you!" The second those words come out of my mouth, I immediately regret it.

"Oh God, is that normal — wait, what? Seriously?" Deku gapes, his jaw slack.

I can feel the tips of my ears turn red despite myself. "No, rewind. The fuck was that? I didn't say anything!" I turn towards the nearest wall in order to punch it, but Deku quickly stops me.

"Wait, don't do that." He looks at me squarely. "You like me too?"

"No...?"

Deku tilts his head in confusion. _God, I want to punch him._ "What? Are you asking me?"

"No."

"Er—no to what?" From Deku's face, I can see that his patience is wearing thin.

 _Oh, fuck you._

"Kacchan, answer me!"

"...to your second question..." I find myself answering before coming to the realization that Deku just _shouted_ at me. _The fuck?_ "How dare you raise your voice at me?

Deku frowns. "Is that important right now?"

"No, what's important right now is that I'm attracted to a fucking masochist," I scoff.

Deku gasps, scandalized. "Kacchan, I told you I'm not a masochist!"

"You are! You like me even though I keep hurting you, fuckwad," I explain slowly because of Deku's stupidity.

He shakes his head. "That's not what a masochist is. It's not like I like you because I love getting hurt, Kacchan," he argues, which makes me wonder if things are going to work out between us considering that we're already having a disagreement over something petty.

"Why do you like me then?"

"Just because you're... you. I actually wanted to tell you ages ago. It's just... I felt like I was getting way ahead of myself, so I wanted us to go back to being friends first."

"Oh, so you had an ulterior motive when you asked to be friends."

Deku pouts. _I want to fucking punch him._ "It's not like that," he mutters.

"And here I thought you were an innocent little shit. Turns out you're a conniving bastard."

He doesn't respond. Instead, he laces our fingers together, and I have to stop myself from spontaneously combusting. I don't complain when we walk to the classroom together with our fingers intertwined. It's really cheesy and silly and definitely something that I would never do, but I guess I can make an exception for this fucking asshole.

* * *

 **and that's the end.**

 **first of all, i'm sorry if the ending's way too rushed. i should have planned how the story was gonna go from the very start instead of winging everything. second, if you're still reading this, thank you very much!**


End file.
